Nobody likes to make mistakes and in many cases it’s shameful. That’s why most of us have unrecognized errors.
Hiding your mistakes isn’t something terrible so don’t worry. Although, when we are very ashamed of our mistakes then we are also having a mindset that isn’t very healthy for us.
Remember that the game of life is highly influenced by our way of thinking and our way of perceiving life. So, our mindset plays a very high profile role in our lives.
Hence, if you feel ashamed for the little mistakes in life then you are also ashamed of the little pinpoints that drive you into the place that you are now.
As you can notice, this is something very different from what is taught through educational establishments. That’s weird because these entities should provide a safe environment for mistakes to happen. Actually, in these entities, you should be able to make as many mistakes as possible but we all know that it’s not the case.
Hopefully one day, schools and colleges will provide that safe environment that today’s system lack. On that day, the students will be able to test a lot of things without fearing failure, they will just enjoy the experiences.
It’s important for us to be able to have a lot of experiences so we can understand all of our options. In this way, we can develop our own criteria to discern what works and what doesn’t. Therefore, we will be able to make better decisions in the future.
When we group all the little mistakes we do in our lives we can find that those are making us better with great experience and bold judgment.
This may seem a little off topic but each time that I have a debate with other people, in the majority of cases, they tend to use the phrase “that’s obvious” or “everyone knows that” but the truth is that it’s a fallacy, that is, a lie used to deceive and confuse.
When you start to consider things as obvious is when you start to lose rigor of thought and not only that because it also drives you into close-minded thinking. Actually, this type of person starts to establish dogmas without any argument to sustain it.
I know you may be wondering what this has to do with my unrecognized errors. Well, the thing is that most of these people use dogmas to cover their own mistakes. Although, I will explain it better in the paragraphs below.
In any case, an error even if it’s a little one, can be useful for us. Actually, you can find a lot of great business people who reinforce the idea of valuing your mistakes.
Robert Kiyosaki is one of them and here’s a simple quote that explains it very well.
Mistakes are only sins when not admitted.— 28p (Robert Kiyosaki)
In other words, what Robert is saying is that an error becomes a problem only when we don’t admit it.
There’re two ways in which we don’t accept our errors. The first one is when we feel ashamed of our errors so we decide to hide them. The second one is when instead of hiding we decide to act as if it never happened.
I think that the worst thing is when we deny our mistakes because that will limit us. Actually, when you deny your mistakes is when you stop learning from them, you stop listening, you stop growing, you start being proud and arrogant, and so many other things.
It’s almost impossible to have a healthy conversation with someone like that. Believe me, I’ve tried. That type of person denies his mistakes and he starts to consider himself perfect in every way. Sweating arrogance and treating other people as useless. In other cases, they start claiming that their mistakes aren’t a mistake and they use any non-logic argument to justify their errors. They stop thinking with reasons and start to think through emotions.
For example, a person who scams others in business may start justifying their action by saying that it’s the only way to be successful in business. They may even start recommending it to other people.
Another example can be a “leader” who leads through fear and oppression. That leader may justify himself by saying that there’s no other better way to lead.
Those two examples are about people who didn’t accept their mistakes and, because of that, they were unable to learn from them. Instead, they chose to adopt them as an absolute truth to live their life.
As you may have noticed from the examples, a common factor between these people is that they say that there’s no other way to make things possible and that’s because they have limited themselves by not recognizing their mistakes.
On those people, we can notice clearly the limitations in mindset as well as their arrogance. It’s arrogant to think that something is impossible just because you are unable to do it.
Those people live their lives sharing these limitations with others so they can induce the same condition. The truth is that there are no impossible things in our business context, only wrong people and wrong circumstances.
Now let’s get back to the case where we start to hide our mistakes. Probably you don’t deny it but you don’t want anyone to know about it neither. In reality, that’s isn’t such a problem unless you are really scared of letting anyone know about your mistakes because in that case there is a problem with your mindset.
I could say that this type of mindset (being ashamed about the mistakes) gets promoted since we are students. We are conditioned to relate our mistakes with shame. Every error gets punished and every right gets awarded. It even doesn’t matter how you get a right.
A lot of students get great notes (rights) cheating and the system award them because being right is what is important. You may think that the system does punish cheating but actually what the system punishes is failing at cheating.
Hence, there are many popular phrases like “the end justifies the means” or “eyes that don’t see, a heart that doesn’t feel”. Is a way of saying that you can cheat as long as nobody notices.
That’s why I say that the education system is the main sponsor for a toxic relationship with errors.
In any case, let’s continue with the idea of hiding our mistakes. It’s normal to feel ashamed for our errors but it’s not normal to make it such a big a deal. Instead, accept it.
Accepting our mistakes allow us to learn from them and to move on.
I’m not saying that you should do the same as Gary Vaynerchuk who loves his mistakes and gets uncomfortable with his rights because that’s a little weird and not for everyone.
In his case, it’s really useful to get uncomfortable with the rights because that avoids him from getting too comfortable with what is working. Therefore, he keeps testing and trying new things even though he is having success already.
He says that when you get too comfy with something that is working you tend to fall into failure because every system or situation has a limited success time. I’m sure you already know a lot of business who made that mistake. Those businesses get comfortable with what has been working for a couple of years but then when the world changed they were unable to follow that pace because they got too comfortable with what was working.
The other thing that has worked for Gary is to love his mistakes because in this way he doesn’t have to feel bad when he has one. Instead of losing his time in feeling bad he just focuses on keep trying other things. He doesn’t lose time on mistakes, he keeps going.
I am aware that I need to develop a better relationship with my mistakes because I know I lose too much time feeling sorry for myself when I fail. Our time is too important to lose it in things that don’t matter.
As I’m telling you, you don’t need to love your mistakes but at least you should accept them so you don’t lose time feeling shame or sorry. In this way, you can use your time to try new things.
In reality, it’s the most logical thing you can do because our life is made up of experiences. People who are scared of making mistakes are doomed to live fewer experiences than those who accept their mistakes.
Every mistake is an experience that is worthy. The simple act of trying something new is a great experience by itself that should make you proud.
Call me crazy but I prefer to fail to sell a book than avoid writing anything in the first place. At least I would experience what it is like to write a book and publish it.
Now that I think about it, I feel proud and happy about all those experiences where I fail. Not because of the failure itself but because of the experience related to that failure.
This is what Robert Kiyosaki is trying to say when he compares our unrecognized errors with sins.
Now I’m going to highlight what we need to do. I know I already have mentioned it but since we are about to end this message I guess is more probable that you would do something about it.
When you think about your error (which is the outcome), start to remember the experience (which is the process).
For example, when I think about the failure on sales of my first book, I feel really upset but when I think about the process I went through to write and publish that book, it makes me happy because I never thought that I would be able to do something like that. When I think in the process I realize that it was not a failure but a personal success.
As you can see, it’s a matter of perspective and if you get the right perspective then you will develop a strong mindset. A mindset that we all should have as Elites.
Hence, next time you find yourself thinking about an error then refocus and think about the experience. Enjoy the process. Think about the dedication, effort, fun, and passion related to the process.
I say passion because it’s better to fail by doing something you love than to fail by doing something you hate. The difference is in the process. When you love what you do, the process is very enjoyable even though the outcome might not be as you wish.
Even more, when you love what you do, it becomes something sustainable which means that you will be able to do it again and again until you find the right solution.
Although, don’t take me wrong. Not everything is peachy. As we saw before, sometimes you have to take hard decisions in order to enjoy your passion. It could be getting a job that can sustain your passion financially or it could be to survive with little until your passion is financially profitable.
Last time I’m going to repeat this: Don’t focus on the errors, focus on the experience.
This is going to help you in several areas of life. Even for your job if you have one or for your studies if you are in college. It’s even helpful for your own relationships.
Most of us tend to sum up 10 years of great experience in just one error that made us feel awful. That’s something very common in relationships.
For example, you may have a great relationship for years until there was a big problem between you two and now you have a bad perception of that relationship. I’m not saying that it’s bad to end a relationship because sometimes that’s the best for both. What I’m saying is that your last memory of that relationship shouldn’t shadow years of great experience.
In other words, what I’m saying is that you shouldn’t value something based on the last experience, you should value it considering all the experiences related.
I’m sure that this simple shift in the mindset and perspective will help you enjoy life better.
This message was sponsored by the writing app called Ulysses which is the one I use for all the posts on this website and also the books I’m sending to the Elite community. If you want to be part of the community then you will only need to add your email [here].
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See you in the next post.