For all of us, it’s difficult to accept advice from others especially when those are stupid and not useful at all but we have to.
I don’t know if you feel this way but one of the things I hate the most is when someone tries to give advice on something that already happened.
A piece of useful advice is the one that is given at the right time. Most people wait until the last moment to give a piece of advice but then it’s too late to do something about it. Maybe they want us to do it all over again but is definitely not that simple.
For me it’s not exactly advice, it’s a critique since there’s no value in itself.
There is a lot of other advice that is not useful because you can’t apply them. For example, I got a lot of generic advice which is not specific advice so I don’t know how to apply it or even take it into consideration.
I don’t get it. It just makes me lose time by meditating on the meaning of their advice because most of the times I don’t even get what’s the connection between their advice and what I’m doing.
Some of that advice is: have faith, give love, just wait, and so on. Those are a type of advice that is still too wide to be useful for a specific occasion so there’s little I can do with them. Sure, those sound great but that’s all.
What I have noticed is that people tend to give this generic advice because they don’t have any idea of what to say. Since they feel the obligation to say something or they want to participate somehow, they choose to say any shit that goes through their minds.
Another advice that I don’t like is the one that is irrational.
Irrational advice is the one that may say good but in reality their’s no logic behind it. You will know that it’s irrational advice when you ask the other person to elaborate on their advice and they will not know what else to say. It’s something to expect because most people live through dogmas and traditions without understanding them.
Those type of people give advice based on popular wisdom or based on what their parents used to tell them. They don’t understand the why but they just follow them as rules.
You can imagine how frustrating it is to have a conversation with this type of people because their answer will always be “I don’t know”. It’s frustrating because they believe that by saying “I don’t know” they are justifying all their thoughts. I’m sorry but thinking that way is arrogant and lazy.
For those people, we are just stupid and ignorant because in their perspective we are being ignorant or rude. As I already said, having a conversation with this type of person is highly frustrating.
Although, I can think about something that is more frustrating than that. When I usually get the advice I tend to explain that I already have done that or I try to explain more about my context so the other person can understand why their advice doesn’t work. I do this with the hope that they can know more about the situation in order to give better advice. What actually happens is that the other person gets mad because they think I don’t want to follow their advice. That’s sad because it shows that they are just giving generic advice and they can’t adopt a piece of advice into my real situation.
What I do is not crazy. What is crazy is to give advice without knowing anything about the situation or context which is what most people do. No wonder why most advice is useless and off topic. The sad part is that there are just a few people who are willing to think about better advice knowing the context. Most times, those are our mentors because they have lived what we are living and they are up to date on our situation. Although, most people just get stuck in their first advice.
I have to say that the reason why people get stuck in their first advice is that they are giving advice on topics that exceed their experience. Since they haven’t experienced anything like what I’m doing, they can only give generic advice. Once again, that’s why it’s important to have a mentor.
Now that we have talked about all those types of useless advice we are going to talk about how important it is to accept their stupid advice with the hope of finding something useful.
Don’t get me wrong. Some of the advice that I considered stupid was actually really useful. It’s just that I didn’t get it by the time. Although, most of them came from really wise people who have done something similar to what I wanted to do. In other words, the stupidest advice from a wise person is way better than the smartest advice from a person who has never lived anything alike.
Advice in business
If you cannot handle blunt and direct feedback, it is better that you keep your daytime job. People without strong character cannot take direct feedback. Feedback is important because business is nothing but one giant feedback mechanism. No matter how great you are, your feedback will not always be great, and you’ll have to be able to accept that.Donald Trump
Definitely, this is something that I need to work on because I’m not so good accepting advice. Although, I’m happy to know that from all the people I know, I’m the best one to follow advice. Sure, I’m not good at accepting them but after that, I tend to follow the advice. Most people don’t accept advice and they don’t follow it either. I tend to follow the advice because I’m afraid to be losing opportunities by not giving the best of me. Even if I have done it and it didn’t work I still try it again because I know that maybe I’m the problem so I prefer to keep trying. In this way, I will know that I gave the best of me.
As Donald says, the advice is not always great but it’s important to accept it. The part of accepting it is the part I need to be better at.
I’m not so good at accepting advice because I tend to think too much about it. I mean, when someone gives me generic advice I tend to think that this person is assuming negligence from my part. I know that it’s an exaggerated assumption but that’s something we tend to do as humans.
Hence, I’m forcing myself to learn how to accept feedback with grace, humility, and joy. Even if the advice is stupid and completely out of place. After all, accepting advice doesn’t mean you have to follow it.
Until now I’ve only talked about the advice which is feedback that most nice and educated people give but there is also criticism which is what I think Donald is referring to with his phrase. The advice can be very easy to take but criticism can be very toxic and a lot of people have a hard time processing them. The first time I got some criticism was very hard and very emotional so I know how it feels.
In this category, we can find the famous haters which are very common around the world and sometimes we may act like one. Therefore, this message is not only focused on how to deal with haters but also how to avoid being one ourselves. Believe it or not, you too give destructive criticism. I know I do.
The first thing we need to understand is that actions don’t have to define a person because there’s a context for each person’s life.
For example, even though we may not like someone, that person also has a family and may have lived a life we can’t even imagine. We are incapable of knowing each person’s context so it’s to expect that we are also unable to know each person’s situation.
If a person makes a mistake it doesn’t mean that the person is clumsy, stupid or lame. That’s what I mean when I say that an event doesn’t define your whole life.
Some people do awful things by desperation so it’s important to understand their situation instead of only focusing on one isolated event. This is how we develop empathy to understand their circumstances. By the way, I’m not saying that we should justify their bad behavior. I’m saying that we should have the empathy to understand why they behave that way.
We all have to be responsible and we all have to respond to our mistakes. Yet, what I’m recommending you by having empathy is to reduce toxic emotions against those people. For example, you shouldn’t see them with eyes of anger and hate. You should see these people with eyes of forgiveness and compassion. That’s the purpose of having empathy.
As I usually say, it’s stupid to hate a public person because what we don’t like is just a public perception of that person. Besides, there’s no sense in hating someone that we don’t even know. We don’t know how that person really is and we also don’t know their context.
In my case, when I see someone with their family, my whole perspective of that person changes. This is because we tend to isolate people from their context. We do this not by rational thoughts but by emotional reasons. For example, hate.
This is something very common in politics. Take a break and think about your country political situation. You will encounter nice people who will start talking with hate and they will even discriminate other nice people just because of their political position. This is something that happens everywhere in the world.
Politics is one of those dramatic scenarios where emotion prevails and our intellectual brain dries out. The saddest part is that the emotion that prevails isn’t love or compassion, it’s hate.
One thing I discovered when I establish my political position on some elections is that those people who have flattered me saying that I’m smart or diligent, they treated me like scum. This is funny because I change constantly my political position depending on the circumstances after doing a little bit of research. In this way, I don’t treat a politician like a messiah as most people tend to do. I’m sorry for politicians but they are tools and when you see them in this way you can support different politicians in order to fulfill a purpose. Political opposition is highly important so I always support politicians in several parties to assure the best outcome for the country.
Anyway, this is one of the reasons why I don’t like when someone flatters me because these exact people are the ones who later on will attack me. That’s hypocrisy in the whole sense of the word. Although, I don’t blame them because it’s something natural in human nature and I’m no longer surprised by that. By knowing this I’ve been able to live a happy life in every moment of my life or at least most times.
I really hope that you can also develop the habit of defending other people instead of blaming them or hating them.
It doesn’t matter if that person really made a mistake. What’s important is to have empathy in order to help that person. That attitude is way nobler and useful.
About the destructive criticism that we are going to receive in life, it’s also very useful to have empathy with haters in order to deal with them.
In the beginning, it was really hard for me when a lot of people started to attack my work and also when they attacked me directly. They have only seen one video of mine and yet they thought that they knew everything about me.
After a while, I understood how absurd it really is. All the people who criticize me knew nothing about me. Actually, they were very lazy since they didn’t even try to search more about me but that makes sense because only lazy people have time to criticize. Busy people are busy doing something useful. In other words, when someone can’t do something useful, they criticize the ones who do.
Now I find these critics funny and entertaining. I try to reply with education and let them know what lazy feedback they are giving. I also let them know that I’m willing to retract and change if they make thoughtful feedback. Some of them reply nicely but most of them don’t even reply.
In some few cases, they like my way of replying and they decide to follow my work. That’s not common but it happens.
Sometimes from love to hate there’s just one step backward but the great thing is that from hate to love there’s also just one step forward.
As Donald already mentioned, being an entrepreneur is not for people who want to please everyone and neither for people who can’t take destructive criticism.
That’s why you need to develop your character with all the recommendations that I gave you. If you still can’t take those destructive critics after a while then maybe you are not made for this. Having an entrepreneurial life is not for everyone and not everyone is willing to do what it’s needed.
If this life is not for you then don’t force it to the point of being unhappy and stressed all the time. Remember that the most important thing is to enjoy your life.
The first thing you will encounter when you decide to create your own business will be people who don’t believe you can do it. They will criticize your capacities and your vision. That’s the first filter to know if you have what is needed to show otherwise.
For example, one crazy person is Gary Vaynerchuk because he loves when people say that he can’t do something or that he will never have success in that. It sounds weird but when he directly confronts the negative, he becomes stronger. He loves criticism because he loves to show them wrong.
His desire to prove other people wrong is what gives him energy and joy in the process.
This is not something that everyone can do but it’s worth trying to develop that attitude. That mindset by itself can change our whole perspective on life.
Believe me, someone like that doesn’t get depressed for a lack of sales or for betrayal. Having that attitude helps you overcome a lot of obstacles because you will have a clear vision which is showing everyone what you are capable of. It’s not necessary to show everyone else your capacity but also showing yourself that you can achieve your goals.
That’s the character you need as an entrepreneur and as an Elite.
In the end, the critics are not such a big deal so there’s no reason why we should allow them to have an impact on us. Although, there are some people who love to create drama out of them.
I also want to add that as an entrepreneur you will need the ability to not get offended. I know it’s not easy but it makes a huge difference in life.
If you want to talk more about this topic then follow me on [Instagram] because I will be posting much more about this topic. I also recommend you to read the book [Salud Empresarial] if you know a little bit Spanish because in that book you will find more than a 100 chapters for entrepreneurship which also includes emotional intelligence and character development.
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